All parents expect their baby to be born at the right time, and healthy. The shock when you are parted from your baby, particularly if she is very ill or premature, can be immense.

“ If only……” If only I hadn't lifted those heavy things. If only I'd taken notice of that twinge I felt. If only I'd gone to the doctor or hospital sooner…"

All these thoughts may go through your mind, but there is, more often than not, no apparent cause for what has happened.

Fathers are often the first to see the new baby and will feel just as anxious as mothers. However, they can be a link between mother and baby and give the mother vital support by preparing her for her first visit to the Unit.

Mother of babies in the NIC Unit may become very upset watching other mothers with their babies on the postnatal ward. They often feel a sense of emptiness and loss when they go home without their baby.

Other family members, especially siblings and grandparents, can also be affected by the stress and they will need particular care and understanding. It is important to understand that all these emotions are normal. So don't despair.

The more you visit your baby, talk to the staff or to a parent from the support group and to your own family and friends, the more you will be able to understand and cope in this difficult time.